Tuesday, December 30, 2008

Our "Appointment" today...

Tonight Chris and I had an appointment in the ADC Clinic that we were told was a genetics appointment. They said it was something that we had to go to so we thought it was because Carson had a birth defect (even though genetically he had nothing wrong with him). It actually ended up being an informational group appointment about all the different testing that they offer to you while pregnant and what they test for. It would have been nice to have that appointment when I was pregnant with Carson. We had a lot of un-needed stress when we were told the numbers from my quad screen test came back high for spina bifida. The doctor who called me made it sound like our baby had spina bifida when he didn't. The numbers had come back high from his Gastroschisis. Anyways the appointment just explained how the they do the tests and what the tests are able to tell you. I guess it's a new thing they started doing 2 months ago and now every patient has to attend the appointment. They said they started it because there was a lot of confusin about the testing (maybe that's because they hardly gave any information on it!). All in all I thought it was helpful even though we already knew that stuff now having to had gone through it with Carson.

Earlier today before our appointment we had to run back to the mall to exchange something. After that we came back on post to go see if Chris could figure out what was wrong with John and Tiffany's Bronco because it wasn't starting. The guys figured out what was wrong and luckily John was able to get it started so they could get home! I was worried about how'd they get home since we had that appointment to go too.

Tomorrow morning is Tiffany's first doctor's appointment! I am so very excited for her! I know she's nervous (especially about getting her blood drawn) but I know everything's going to be just fine! I'm so happy we get to be pregnant together! YAY! We were really good with our timing haha. Tomorrow night we're going to dinner at The Cheesecake Factory with John and Tiffany to celebrate Tiffany's birthday! I can't wait to go that's my favorite place to eat at! Emily got us a gift card their for Christmas because she knows how much I love that place haha.

Right now my dog Bailey is snoring next to me on the bed. I swear sometimes she thinks she's a person! Well I better get off of here. I'm going to try to get some sleep!! Happy Early New Year to everyone!

Monday, December 29, 2008

Dealing with the insurance companies..

Is such a hassle!! I HATE it. Since the guy who backed into us is claiming that we were backing out at the same time (which is a lie) they are claiming that the accident was both of our faults. They're wanting us to pay our deductable then his insurance company will pay for 50% of it. It's just been so stressful trying to deal with both of the insurance companies! We only have a paint chip and some scratches so we told State Farm and Progressive that we just wanted to drop the claims and forget about it because we don't want an accident on our driving record since we've never had one. We mainly just don't want our rates to go up lol. Chris called the guy who hit us and he agreed to drop his claim too so neither of us will have an accident on our record. If he didn't drop his claim and we did we could still end up with an accident on our record which is total BS since it wasn't our fault but whatever! Hopefully this headache is over soon!

Tomorrow is Tiffany's birthday!! She'll be the big 22 lol. Chris and I went to the mall today and exchanged the jeans I got him for Christmas since they didn't fit. He was able to find a pair in his size which is good because he needed a new pair lol. Aeropostale was having a big sale. Everything was like 50% off and all their jeans were on sale for $19.98! I looovee deals! After we exchanged his jeans we got Tiffany a birthday present. I really hope she likes it :) I think we're going to go out to dinner on New Years Eve to celebrate her birthday. We're going to the Cheesecake Factory which is my FAVORITE place! I'm VERY excited haha. I need to get Tiffany to try the Fried Macaroni Balls...they're the best!! I'm also excited for Wednesday because Tiffany has her first doctor's appointment!! I'm so happy for her! I can't wait to hear how it goes!

Well I'm gonna go do some laundry then watch some TV! I feel like being pretty lazy tonight haha. I'm still full from dinner. Goodnight!!

Sunday, December 28, 2008

We get to be pregnant together!

I hope everyone had a great Christmas! We had a great time visiting our family. My parents had almost 3 feet of snow at their house! It was nice to have a white Christmas! I talked to Tiffany on Christmas Day and got some GREAT news!! She's pregnant! I am soooo excited for her and John. I couldn't be happier. I feel like I just got my positive pregnancy test all over again lol. I've been keeping them in my prayers, hoping that they would get pregnant VERY soon, so I am overjoyed that she is! She's due around the end of August and I'm due around the beginning of August! We're going to have so much fun being pregnant together! I'm continuing to keep her in my prayers and I just know that everything is going to go great for them! I have a feeling we're both going to have healthy babies! We sure deserve it...if I do say so myself lol :)

Right now I'm 9 weeks and 3 days. That's going by the due date of July 31st. I'm so excited that I'm starting my 3rd month. We get to find out what we're having at the end of Feb. so hopefully the time will go by fast lol. I can't wait to find out what this little bean is. I have a feeling it's a boy. Either way we'll be thrilled. All we want is a healthy baby :) I still need to figure out how to put a pregnancy ticker on my blog lol. I saw Tiffany's blog and she has one and it looks really cute!

Well I just wanted to update everyone since I haven't been online in over a week! I hope everyone had a great Christmas or holiday season!! 2009 has some amazing things in store! I have a feeling it's going to be a GREAT year!!

Friday, December 19, 2008

Angels taken too soon...

An Angel in the book of life,
Wrote down this baby's birth,
And whispered as she closed the book,
Too beautiful for Earth!
I saw that poem on a website. It was in a video tribute to sweet little Caylee Anthony. My heart is breaking for her family. I can't imagine what they are going through. How could anyone kill a sweet innocent child? Personally I believe her mother did it, and I hope she some day opens up and actually tells the truth so maybe her family can get some kind of closure. Caylee has touched so many lives across the country. I've prayed for her since the day I first heard about her story. I hope her family can somehow make it through this tough holiday season. May angels lead you in Caylee!
That poem also reminds me of Carson. I know he didn't get to be here with us for long but I understand that he was needed up in Heaven. I now can say that I truly believe that everything happens for a reason. Carson is now our gaurdian angel and is watching over his mommy, daddy and little brother or sister.
My pregnancy is still going well. I'm 8 weeks and 1 day. The "morning" sickness has been horrible! I hope it passes soon! I'm excited for my next doctor's appointment but it's not until Jan. 15th. We should be able to hear the baby's heart beat by then so that's VERY exciting! We'll also be having another ultrasound. You never get tired of those lol.
Our weather here has been pretty bad lately. We've got a few inches of snow but TONS of ice. We're supposed to have a bad storm starting Saturday and going into Sunday morning. I just hope the weather gets better and the roads aren't too icy. We're supposed to go to my aunts for dinner on Christmas eve then after dinner to my parents house. We wont be able to go if the weather doesn't get better.
Well I just wanted to give everyone an update on everything. I'm gonna head to bed I'm exhausted. Hopefully everyone has a great weekend and try to stay warm!!

Monday, December 15, 2008

The WORST day EVER...

Today has been the WORST day EVER. First we had to take our big screen TV to get fixed. It's going to cost $185 bucks! It's only a year old so it shouldn't even need to be repaired! After dropping our TV off we went to Target to get some last minute Christmas shopping done and after we had backed out of our parking spot, some dumbass backed out of his spot without looking and hit us!! It jerked the car and hurt my back. Of course I was freaked out and worried about the baby. Luckily there wasn't any major damage to our car but now the asshole is claiming that we were both backing out at the same time. Which isn't true! We were already out of our spot and you can clearly tell that he's the one who hit us by where our damage is. UGGGGHHH. They're wanting us to pay for our damage which means our $500 deductable (which his insurance is hopefully going to pay half of) and they want him to pay for his damage. It's total bullshit because he was the one at fault so I don't want to pay for a single penny. We went to the ER and thank God everything is okay with the baby! They did an ultrasound and we saw the heart beat again. My back is soooo sore though. I need to go to the store tomorrow and get a heating pad. After we left the hospital we went and got some Chinese food. On our way home with the food we noticed that BOTH of our headlights are out! Seriously...what more could go wrong today?! That'll run us like $100 bucks! We got home and the neighbors have friends over and someone parked in our spot. And to top off this horrible day my Chinese food didn't taste good. I think I'm going to go to bed. Hopefully tomorrow will be a whole lot better! Hope everyone else is having a much better day!

Wednesday, December 10, 2008

100 things...

I got this off of Stephanie's blog...I thought I'd try it since it looked like fun! You put everything you've done in bold...

1. Started your own blog
2. Slept under the stars
3. Played in a band
4. Visited Hawaii
5. Watched a meteor shower
6. Given more than you can afford to charity
7. Been to Disneyland.
8. Climbed a mountain.
9. Held a praying mantis
10. Sang a solo
12. Visited Paris
13. Watched a lightning storm at sea
14. Taught yourself an art from scratch
15. Adopted a child
16. Had food poisoning
17. Walked to the top of the Statue of Liberty
18. Grown your own vegetables
19. Seen the Mona Lisa in France
20. Slept in an overnight train
21. Had a pillow fight
22. Hitchhiked
23. Taken a sick day when you're not ill
24. Built a snow fort
25. Held a lamb
26. Gone skinny dipping
27. Run a marathon
28. Ridden in a gondola in Venice
29. Seen a total eclipse
30. Watched a sunrise or sunset
31. Hit a home run
32. Been on a cruise
33. Seen Niagara Falls in person
34. Visited the birthplace of your ancestors
35. Seen an Amish community
36. Taught yourself a new language
37. Had enough money to be truly satisfied
38. Seen the Leaning Tower of Pisa in person
39. Gone rock climbing
40. Seen Michelangelo's David
41. Sung karaoke
42. Seen Old Faithful geyser erupt
43. Bought a stranger a meal at a restaurant
44. Visited Africa
45. Walked on a beach by moonlight
46. Been transported in an ambulance
47. Had your portrait painted
48. Gone deep sea fishing
49. Seen the Sistine Chapel in person
50. Been to the top of the Eiffel Tower in Paris
51. Gone scuba diving or snorkeling
52. Kissed in the rain
53. Played in the mud
55. Been in a movie
56. Visited the Great Wall of China
57. Started a business
58. Taken a martial arts class
59. Visited Russia
60. Served at a soup kitchen
61. Sold Girl Scout Cookies
62. Gone whale watching
63. Got flowers for no reason
66. Visited a Nazi Concentration Camp
67. Bounced a check
68. Flown in a helicopter
69. Saved a favorite childhood toy
70. Visited the Lincoln Memorial
71. Eaten cavier.
72. Pieced a quilt
73. Stood in Times Square
74. Toured the Everglades
75. Been fired from a job
76. Seen the Changing of the Guards in London
77. Broken a bone
78. Been on a speeding motorcycle
79. Seen the Grand Canyon in person
80. Published a book
81. Visited the Vatican
82. Bought a brand new car
83. Walked in Jerusalem
84. Had your picture in the newspaper
85. Read the entire Bible
86. Visited the White House
87. Killed and prepared an animal for eating
89. Saved someone's life
90. Sat on a jury
91. Met someone famous
92. Joined a book club
93. Lost a loved one
94. Had a baby
95. Seen the Alamo in person
96. Swam in the Great Salt Lake
97. Been involved in a lawsuit
98. Owned a cell phone
99. Been stung by a bee
100. Read an entire book in one day

Our baby!

Our appointment today went great!! When I saw my doctor he asked how I'd been feeling. I told him how I have nausea all day and he said that it was a good sign lol. After talking about how I've been feeling and my symptoms we did the ultrasound. He said the baby looks great! It's right on track for the due date and everything looks good :) We were also able to see the baby's heart beat which made us VERY happy! I am so relieved now and so much more relaxed. I feel like I can just be excited now and not have to worry so much! We are truly blessed. I am feeling REALLY positive about this pregnancy! All the high risk doctors that met with me while I was in the hospital having Carson, talked and decided that I don't need blood thinners. They did an autopsy on Carson and never found any clots in the umbilical cord or placenta and since I've personally never had clots they don't think I'll get any. I just carry one of the genes for blood clotting. I'll be monitored closely and I need to keep taking my baby asprin every day, along with my prenatal and folic acid. I heard 3 due dates today lol. July 31st, August 1st and August 4th. The first two are based off of a 28 day cycle and they got those off of their little paper wheels they have that estimate your due date. The August 4th one is based off of a 32 day cycle (which is what I have). The nurse said to pick the first one because it makes my 40 weeks come faster lol. I'll still need to be induced but my doctor said he might let me actually go to 40 weeks, but he doesn't want me to go past that. At 36 or 37 weeks they might try so things to get my body to go into labor naturally. Which would be great! I'd love to have the baby a couple weeks early lol. I am so excited to start telling the rest of our family and friends. We're still going to do the Christmas card idea to tell everyone. Well I just wanted to give everyone an update. We go for our next appointment in 4 weeks and will have another ultrasound then. We should find out the sex at 18 weeks and will have that ultrasound around the last week of Feb. I can't wait!! Hope everyone is having a great night!!

Tuesday, December 9, 2008

6 weeks

Today I'm 6 weeks!! I'm so excited! I've been feeling great (besides some morning sickness and ALWAYS being hungry). Tomorrow are my appointments that I've been waiting soooooo long for! I'm more excited now than nervous. I'm feeling really positive about this pregnancy! I'm sure as soon as I'm in the waiting room tomorrow I'll be just as nervous as ever though. Chris gets to come with me to both of my appointments so that's a relief! He's also really positive about this pregnancy. He thinks everything will work out just fine. I'm starting to feel that way too which is nice because I seem to not be stressing out AS much. I think after my appointment tomorrow I will be able to relax and really not stress out. I just want to see that little heart beating away! I'm still keeping Tiffany in my prayers every night. I really hope she gets her positive pregnancy test soon! She'll be a GREAT mom! Well I just wanted to post an update. I'll make another post tomorrow after my appointments and fill everyone in on how it went. We'll also discuss a game plan tomorrow with my high risk OB about appointments and how often I need to come in and what not and what medications I'm going to be on so I'll be sure to keep everyone updated! Hope everyone has a great night!!!

Saturday, December 6, 2008

Pregnancy Tickers

I've been trying to put a pregnancy ticker in one of my blogs but for some reason it wont show up after I post it so I'm obviously doing something wrong haha. Who knows!! There are so many neat ones it's hard to decide which one to use lol.

Today Tiffany and I are going to Target and Ross so she can shop for some church clothes lol. We're going to church tomorrow which I'm pretty excited about because I've been feeling guilty for not going! Before I meet up with Tiffany I'm going to hang out with Erin for a while. We're going to stop by Babies R Us and the store! I'm glad I have something to do today!! Chris is watching football all day so I'm glad I don't have to sit at home haha.

Well I'm gonna go get ready to go meet up with Erin...Maybe tonight I'll figure out how to put a ticker on my blog. I'll ask Tiffany...she's smart and she'll know how to do it lol Hope everyone's having a great weekend!!

Wednesday, December 3, 2008

What's been going on....

Yesterday my new class Medical Terminology 2 started. I think it's going to be pretty much the same as Med. Term. 1 ... lots or memorization. I haven't actually done any of the homework yet lol..it isn't due for almost 2 weeks though. I think I'm going to start it tomorrow and try to finish it all this weekend since we don't have any plans. I would like to go to the movie "4 Christmases" this weekend though. It looks hilarious!

Nick and Elisa came up yesterday to visit and stay the night since Nick now has Tuesday's and Wednesday's off. We decided to tell them that I'm pregnant. We got a green bib from Babies R Us that says "My Uncle Loves Me". I was looking for one that says "I love my uncle" but the only ones they had that said that were pink and I wanted something gender neutral. Anyways we wrapped it up and told Nick we had an early Christmas present for him. He thought it was going to be a DVD. When he opened it he just stared at it (I don't think he even read it) and then he looked at me and said "She's not pregnant" (meaning Elisa) with this really confused look on his face lol. Then after a second he said "Wait YOUR pregnant?". When we told him yes he got all excited and freaked out! He can't wait to be an uncle again! He's already planning on getting a car seat for his truck haha.

I got a call today from that lady about the job I've been interviewing for. She want's me to come in AGAIN tomorrow at 11 am for about an hour. She wants to see my computer skills and how creative I am when it comes to designing flyers for the business. So we'll see how that goes. I'm kind of getting annoyed because this is the 3rd interview I've been in for. The first was 2 hours, the second was over an hour and now she says this one will last an hour! I'm nervous lol.

So far I've been feeling good. I'm a little over 5 weeks. Probably 5 weeks and like 2 days. I haven't had any morning sickness really but I have had some nausea. I do have an increased appetite and I have been getting frequent headaches. The bathroom is my new best friend because I now pee like a million times a day! It's weird because I'll be soooo tired at night and ready to go to bed but I'll lay there for ever, sometimes an hour or two trying to fall asleep! Maybe it's because I have so much on my mind and my mind is racing right now! I think I'll relax a lot after my appointment! It can't get here fast enough! Only 6 more days!! I keep praying non-stop that everything will go great at my appointment and that they'll be able to see the heart beat and that everything will look good! Keeping my fingers crossed!

Ever since we lost Carson I've been praying A LOT. I've found a lot of strength in God. I mean I've always prayed and I went to church growing up but after moving out on my own I hadn't been in a long time (with the exception of Christmas Eve each year). I really want to find a Catholic church near by to go to. I think that will really help me out through out this pregnancy. I am putting everything in God's hands and feel like I should be going to church each Sunday. I'm going to look for some nearby churches onlin tomorrow. I'm not sure when the Catholic church masses are on base. I liked the Catholic church I went to with Christy and Tiffany but it was kind of far away so I'm hoping to find one in like Olympia. Or maybe we'll just look into the ones on base!

Well I better get off here Chris and I are going to watch the movie Maid of Honor. I ordered it off Netflix lol. Hope everyone has a great night!

Sunday, November 30, 2008

Black Friday...

Yesterday my mom and I got up at 4:30 to go shopping. I was VERY disappointed to be honest. We left many stores empty handed which wasn't expected! I didn't even spend $100.00 so it's got me thinking that maybe next year I wont be getting up so early to go shopping lol. Today we went to the mall to do some more shopping and actually found more good deals there than we did on Friday. After the mall we went to Ross and my mom was looking for some jeans. I acutally found a pair of maternity jeans that were cute (not like my other ones) and some warmer long sleeved maternity shirts. I wasn't going to buy them but my dad said I should because the jeans were the only pair there (in that color) and they didnt have too many long sleeved shirts and all I have left over from my last pregnancy is tee shirts. I was afraid I'd "jinx" myself if I bought maternity clothes this early but my mom said that wouldn't happen lol so I'm hoping she's right! I can't wait to wear them! I've been feeling good lately. I haven't really been sick like I was when I was pregnant with Carson. Sometimes I feel sick to my stomach but if I do it never lasts long. It's so weird how every pregnancy is so different. I'm excited that tomorrow is December 1st. December 10th can't get here fast enough! Hopefully everything will go well :) Anyways just wanted to write a quick update. I'm going to head to bed! Hope everyone is having a great weekend!

Wednesday, November 26, 2008

Excited but nervous...

Today was Carson's due date. We miss him so very much! I wish more than anything that he could be with us but I feel like we got this BFP because of him. I feel like he wanted me to be pregnant again and like he's telling me it's okay. I love him sooooo much!! I miss my baby :( Yesterday I got my BFP. I am sooooooo happy but also very nervous. I just keep praying that everything is going to go okay this time, but I'm so scared it wont. With Carson I took two pregnancy tests. This time I only had 1 so I just took that one and didn't buy anymore. I was just on babycenter.com and read several posts about chemical pregnancies. Now I'm freaking out that something like this is going to happen to me! :( I reallllyyy hope it doesn't! I can't stop thinking about my ultrasound on the 10th. I really hope the days go by fast because I'm driving myself insane wondering if everything is okay. Maybe I'm so nervous because the last time we went in for an ultrasound was the day we found out Carson had passed away. I just hope when we go in that Dr. Batig will tell us everything looks great!! I truly believe that this is our Thanksgiving blessing and I hope this little bean sticks! I know it seeme like I'm obsessing over this but I just want so badly for this baby to be healthy and to have a uneventful pregnancy!! I'm trying not to stress but it's hard to celebrate until we know for sure everything's okay. I'm so tempted to tell my parents tomorrow but I haven't decided when I'm going to tell them yet. After I have my ultrasound I'm going to ask the doctor if it's safe to tell everyone because they'll be able to see a heart beat at 6 weeks and if it is I think we'll send out Christmas cards telling everyone! Well I better get off here I'm sooo tired. I hope everyone has a great Thanksgiving tomorrow and happy shopping to those who are going to go out on Black Friday! I'm excited for all the deals haha. Goodnight!

Tuesday, November 25, 2008

BFP!!!!!!


I'M PREGNANT!!!!!! My period was due today and I had a feeling that I was going to get a negative test result so I didn't even want to test. I woke up this morning at 4:30 and didn't have to pee so after I layed there for 15 minutes I realized I wouldn't be able to sleep if I didn't take the test. I went and drank a couple glasses of water then took the test. My heart was pounding so fast just thinking about the results. I had to go in the other room so I wouldn't peak at it early. lol When I went back into the bathroom and picked up the test there was my positive result! I was so shocked!! I started crying I was so happy!! I can't believe God has blessed us again! We are so lucky! I just hope this pregnancy goes smoothly. I honestly can't handle losing another baby to either miscarriage or another still birth. It's just too hard. I am so excited about being pregnant. After I found out this morning I wasn't able to go back to sleep so I surfed the internet and found out that my estimated due date is Tuesday August 4th 2009! It really is amazing that God answered our prayers. Tomorrow is Carson's due date so of course November is a hard month for us and to be blessed with a new baby on the way is going to help make this month a little easier. Not to mention the new baby is also due in August a week before Carson was born. I think Carson is watching over us and really wanted this to happen! I am so excited about being pregnant again but I am also so scared and nervous at the same time. I have already said countless prayers that everything will go okay. On December 10th I have two doctor's appointments. The first one is with my high risk OB and he's going to do an ultrasound to make sure the pregnancy is viable. If it is (Which I have faith that it will be) then he's going to put me on my blood thinners. My second appointment is just an intake appointment where I fill out TONS of paperwork and get blood work done. So far I've only told my two best friends Tiffany and Christy. I also told my good friend Erin. Chris has told a couple of his friends but other than that no one knows. We're going to wait til after out appointment on the 10th to start telling people. I might even wait to tell my parents and brother until Christmas so we can do something neat to tell them. We'll see! I'm keeping Tiffany in my prayers every night. I hope she gets pregnant this next month so we can be pregnant together!! Well I better get to bed I've been up since 4:30 am and I have a second interview tomorrow at that weight loss place! I really hope I get the job! Hope everyone has a great night!!

Monday, November 24, 2008

Update...



My interview went great and I'm supposed to hear back from her this week and see if she needs me to come back in for a second interview. I'm hoping I get the job! We'll see :)

This weekend we went to Packwood to visit my parents and go through Christmas stuff. They gave us a bunch of stuff that they don't have room for and I cooked the family an early Thanksgiving dinner since I've never been able to cook one for Chris before. We also took some pictures this weekend and we'll probably use the one I posted on here for our Christmas card. I'm excited for the holidays but sad at the same time since Carson should be here :( Our house is already all decorated for Christmas...we even have our tree up. I know it's early but since Chris got home right before Christmas last year we weren't able to put the tree up together so we were excited to do that together. Plus he's also big into Christmas like I am so we couldn't wait to decorate! I can't believe how fast this year has gone! Hopefully next year will be better :)

Tomorrow my period is due but I'm going to take a pregnancy test in the morning. I REALLY hope I get a positiive but I have a feeling I wont. I don't want to get my hopes up. I have some things that are similar to when I found out I was pregnant with Carson but each pregnancy is different. We could really use the good news this month since Carson was due the 26th but I just have a feng it's not going to happen :(

I hope everyone has a great Thanksgiving and a safe trip if they're traveling anywhere! I better get off the computer...it's getting late and I'm really tired. Hopefully everyone has a good night :)

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

My upcoming interview...

Last week I sent my resume to a woman for a job at a weight loss clinic in Olympia. I got a call back today and I have an interview tomorrow at 3:00 pm. I am sooooooo excited! I would love to work at this weight loss clinic. I know I haven't had the interview yet but it sounds perfect! It isn't far way and it's part time so the hours are perfect. She said the job could turn into a full time position which would also be nice. I'd love the extra $$$$$$ lol. I really think I'd be able to relate to the clients who are trying to lose weight. Not only am I trying to lose the rest of my baby weight but I've gone to a weight loss clinic (run by the same company just down in Longview) and I was able to lose 40 lbs! I would love to help people lose weight and achieve their goals of weight loss! I don't want to get my hopes up about this job but I'm keeping my fingers crossed!! Hopefully it goes well and I'll be sure to update everyone tomorrow after my interview.

Next week on the 26th is Carson's due date. I know it's going to be a very hard day for us but hopefully we'll be able to do something nice to remember Carson by. I miss him sooooo much :( I pray every night that Carson knows how much we love him and miss him.

Well I'm going to get off here and start a load of laundry. I need to wash my clothes that I'm going to wear to my interview tomorrow! Hope everyone is having a great week!

Thursday, November 13, 2008

Finals

Today I spent like 3 hours straight studying for my finals tomorrow. Well it's actually just one test but it's 250 questions and they give you 3.5 hours to take it. I'm soooo nervous. I'm taking online Medical Terminology and there's a lot of stuff that you have to memorize. Since I've had so much on my mind since my class started a couple weeks after Carson was born, that I've had a hard time just sitting down and studying. I do my homework and all my assignments and quizs with no problem but I HATE sitting down to memorize prefixes, suffixes and combining forms! I might study a little more tomorrow morning before I get on the computer and take the quiz. I'm lucky that I can look stuff up in my book or notes if I'm stuck on a question since it's an online class. Hopefully the final wont be too tough and I'll get a good grade. I can't wait to be done with school :) Well I better get to bed since I have a big test tomorrow. Hope everyone's having a good night and I'm so glad tomorrow's Friday. I can't wait to sleep in on the weekend! YAY!

Wednesday, November 12, 2008

Update

Today is 2 weeks away from what would have been my due date. I would be 38 weeks pregnant right now. Its crazy to think about. It seems like Carson was born soooo long ago but tomorrow it will be 3 months since he was born. Life can change in an instant, and it's just not fair! It seems like evvverryooone is pregnant right now. A friend of Chris' from back home just had her baby on Monday. She was actually due around the time I was but had to have a c-section early. Tonight before we went to my friend Erin's house for dinner, I took an OPK and got my first positive result. I was sooo excited. Hopefully this will be the month! I really hope it happens for Tiffany this month too! I'm excited to be pregnant together. I really could use some good news right now. Then the baby would be due in August around Carson's birthday. We had fun catching up over at Erin's tonight. It was nice to hang out with friends. I have finals this week with school and I'm NOT looking forward to them. It's only one test but it's 250 questions and they give you 3.5 hours to take it. Hopefully I'll do good! After I'm done with this class I'll go back to Clover Park and register for Medical Terminology II and start that the first Monday in December. Well I just wanted to post a quick update before I go to bed. I'm going to finish watching Dog the Bounty Hunter....it makes me miss Hawaii !!!

Saturday, November 8, 2008

My day with Brent and Tiffany


Last Wednesday Tiffany came down for the day to hang out with Brent and I. We ran some errands and had lunch at Panera (it was sooo good!). As you can see in the picture Brent really liked the lemon from Tiffany's drink haha He made that face every time he tried it but he wouldn't put it down. I had a lot of fun watching Brent last week. It made me want a baby even more haha. Having him gave Tiffany and I a great reason to go to Babies R Us so we spent some time looking at all the neat baby stuff and saying like a million times "I can't wait to get pregnant". lol We got some vitamins called Origin for Women and I'm excited to try them. They're supposed to help you get pregnant faster....we'll see. I haven't started taking them yet because I don't want to get too much folic acid so I'm waiting to talk to my doctor and see if it's okay to take my other vitamins with it. Hopefully these vitamins will be some kind of miracle drug and Tiffany and I will be knocked up this month! haha
This month is already starting to get tough for me and it's only the beginning of the month! I talked to Ashley and she understands why I wont be going to her baby shower. I'm so lucky she's so understanding. Of course she wasn't mad or anything. I'm going to go shopping this week for a baby gift though. She's registered at a few places so I'll probably check out Target and see what I can find. I swear EVERYONE and their dog is pregnant! I just found out that Chris' cousin LeighAnne is pregnant and my cousin's wife Jessica is pregnant. That makes 4 total cousins who are pregnant. NOT FAIR. Everyone keeps telling me that my time will come and blah blah but I wish it would hurry up and be MY turn. Maybe I'm just stressing so much because we got pregnant so fast with Carson. It took us only a little over 2 months and we didn't even know when I was ovulating or anything! This is our 2nd month trying so I'm praying that it happens just as fast. With no miscarriages and a healthy baby!
Tonight Chris has CQ. I hate when he has to work for 24 hours. Especially on a Saturday. I'm soooo freaking bored! In a little while I'm going to run to the commissary and pick him up some snacks and some Sushi (for me...YUM), then I'll go pick him up some Chinese and go have dinner with him. I'll probably hang out there for a little while then head home to watch some movies. Woo. So exciting for a Saturday night huh? Well I better get off here and go to the store. I'm starting to get hungry. Hope everyone has a great weekend!

Sunday, November 2, 2008

Trying to stay positive

Me and Ashley (and baby Austin)



Last night we went out to dinner with the Woodruff's. It went well and we had a lot of fun. I'm sad that they're moving :( It was a little easier to be around Ashley than I expected, although it was still really hard. She looks sooo cute with her belly! I can't wait until it's my turn!!! I think the hardest part of the evening was all the baby talk non-stop. It was pretty much all we talked about. I really hope that November is our month because I am sooooo ready to be pregnant again. I think one reason I'm so jealous of her, is I never got the big ol' belly ( I was barley showing with Carson) and I never got to feel him kick. I felt him move a couple times but never a kick. My plan right now is to just stay positive and not stress about getting pregnant (because that will only make it harder). I'm trying to focus on school and losing weight to keep my mind off things. I have Tiffany to blame (well more like thank) for my addiction to babycenter.com. It's great!! I love the TTC groups. It's so nice to know that there's other people out there going through the same thing. I'm excited to hang out with Tiffany this week! Maybe we'll hit up Boarders :) Well I better get off the computer. I haven't done anything all morning so I better get started on my homework. After Chris is done watching football we have to go get his hair cut. Other than that we're just having a lazy Sunday. Hope everyone had a GREAT weekend!

Friday, October 31, 2008

Happy Halloween!

HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!! I hope everyone had a fun Halloween. Chris and I didn't do much. We just stayed home and passed out candy. We only had like 7 trick or treaters haha. We still have lots of candy (which isn't good...I think I'm going th throw it away so I don't eat it).

Tomorrow we're going to dinner with our good friends who are PCS'ing at the end of November. It's going ot be really hard to go because my friend is pregnant. She's due only a month after I was. To be honest I'm jealous. I'm more than jealous. I wish soooo badly that I was still pregnant but I'm not. Today I was talking with Tiffany and she brought up some good points. I think being around my friend will help me to move on a little bit. Of course I'm still hurting but I think by seeing her it will hel me to heal. I'm excited about trying again but it's still going to be hard for me to see her. Her baby shower is coming up in November and I've decided not to go. It's a week before I was due so it will just be too hard to go. Especially since she's also having a boy. I'm happy for her, don't get me wrong but the month of November in general will be hard for me....so I really don't feel like putting myself through more difficult things than I need to and a baby shower would be beyond difficult.

This upcoming week I'll be babysitting Chris' SGT's son. His name's Brent and he's 10 months old. Today I met with her so I could meet Brent before I started watching him for the week. He is such a happy baby! Sooooo cute too. I'm excited about watching him. Tiffany is going to come hang out with me and the baby which will be a lot of fun. :) Although I'm sure it's going to make me and Tiffany want baby's even more (if that's even possible). I think we'll have fun with him!! On November 4th I get to keep him over night because his mom has to work a 24 hour shift (gotta love the Army!). I'm glad I'll have a baby around. I think it will keep me thinking positive. I've decided to try not to stress out too much about getting pregnant. The problem is though that it's easier said than done so we'll see how that goes! It's weird I have no problem being around Brent and he's a baby. I had no problem being around Christy's kids and their 1 and 2 but I have a REALLY hard time being around pregnant people. There's a girl I'm kinda friends with not really and she asked me to babysit her newborn daughter and I couldn't do it. It's just strange.. I'm not sure why I'm okay being around some babies/kids and not others. Maybe it's because Brent and Orion and Danika are older...they are newborns. I dunno.

Well I'm going to get off of here. Chris and I just got done watching the Heartbreak Kid (FUNNY movie), and I've rambeled on long enough. Have a great weekend!!!

Thursday, October 30, 2008

I'm not losing any weight...

So lately I've been trying to lose weight. It hasn't been going too well. I had been working out EVERY day but then I kinda slacked off for a week . Now that I got the Wii Fit for my birthday I've gotten back to working out everyday. I'm going to try to do the Wii Fit in the morning, along with the eliptical and then do the Wii Fit again at night. I really haven't been eating bad at all so I'm pretty frustrated that I haven't lost any weight. I'm just staying the same (which is better than gaining). I used to do LA Weight Loss and it helped to write down everything I was eating. So here it goes...if anyone reading this knows anything about diet and exercise feel free to give me some tips haha. This is what I ate all day yesterday: Breakfast - fat free vanilla yogurt with granola. Lunch - turkey and swiss sandwhich with tomatos, (I buy the Sara Lee 45 calorie a slice whole wheat bread) and a mini bag of French Onion Sunchips. Dinner - BBQ pork chop, green beans, pasta and a garden salad with a little dressing. I know it's not the best to eat Sun Chips but it was one of the small 1 oz. bags and the pasta I had with dinner I just had a small amount. The serving size on the box was 1 cup and I probably had a 1/4 of a cup serving. Anyways I've just been frustrated lately so I thought this might help to write about it. I'm hoping that by losing weight it will help me to not only be healthier but also maybe get pregnant faster. Who knows! Well Ii'm going to go do the Wii Fit now...Hope everyone has a great day!

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

I need to vent...

I am truly amazed at how some people can call themselves "friends" Friendship is NOT one sided. It takes two people...just like any other kind of relationship. I'm not trying to toot my own horn or anything but I think I'm a pretty good friend. I try to be there for my friends and I'd do anything for them. I have this "friend" who I've known for 4 years now. We used to hang out a lot and we've always talked on a regular basis even when she lived out of state. This last February she met one of Chris' friends when she was over at our house and they started hanging out. They never officially dated. She thought they were in a relationship but he continued to be with other girls and they were basically just friends with benefits. This summer he got stationed down in Texas and she was devestated. She recently bought a plane ticket to go fly down and visit him in November. Well yesterday her world apparently came "crashing down" when he broke up with her. She called me crying and saying how she wished she could get rid of her life and she was so hurt and blah blah. I was a good friend and listened to her go on and on. I kept telling her how sorry I was and maybe they could talk things out when he called her that night. For some reason I felt the need to be a good friend to her even though she hasn't been a good friend to me. After everything happened with Carson she called maybe twice. I would try to talk about him and how I was feeling and she would totally change the subject and not aknowledge anything I said. Well today she calls me crying again and has the nerve to ask me "Do you know what it feels like to lose someone you love so much?". Ummm hello...I lost my son! Of course I know what that feels like! Don't get me wrong we've all been "heart broken" before when someone has broken up with us but we all have to admit that things have gotten better and we realize that they weren't the one for us and we move on. You can never really move on after the loss of a child. Yes the days get easier but that pain never completely goes away. Ever. After listening to her blab on about how it hurts so much she goes on to whine about how everything bad ONLY happens to her. I just wanted to scream. I kept thinking is she serious? Does she honestly think she has it THAT bad? She even went on to talk about how having her daughter was bad, but she made that decision when she had sex. I can't believe a mother would say that about her child. She should be thanking God that she has a damn healthy child that is ALIVE. I guess I'm just so mad that I put forth so much effort into a friendship and get NOTHING in return. I expect a "friend" to at least be there for me and listen when I need to talk but she didn't even do that. I guess all in all this has finally made me realize that I need to just stop talking to her and be thankful for the great friends that I do have. The last few months have made me realize who my true friends are and I am sooooooo thankful to have them in my life! I know that they would do anything for me and they are always there when I need to talk! Thanks Tiffany and Christy! I guess I just need to write this big ol' long entry to get some things off my chest. I've just been annoyed today by that "friend" and by everyone and their damn dog being pregnant. When is it going to be mine and Tiffany's turn? I think we deserve it!

Sunday, October 26, 2008

An update

I haven't written in a while so I thought I'd give everyone an update on what's been going on. Yesterday I turned 22. I had a great birthday! I have the best friends and family in the world! This was the first time since Chris and I have been together that he's been here for my birthday. He missed the first 2 because he was in Iraq. So it was really nice to have him here for it :) We went out to dinner on my birthday with my best friends and their husbands and my parents came along too. They came to visit me and bring me some presents which is always nice haha. I was hoping that I was going to be pregnant because my period was 2 days late. It would have been the best birthday present EVER but it decided to show up the day before my birthday. At least now I know how long my cycle is. Even though it probably wont be the same next month! I have a doctor's appointment on Wednesday. Just a check up with my high risk OB since I didn't have one after I had Carson. I've got a few questions to ask so hopefully he can help me out with figuring out my cycle and give me some answers! Christy is leaving on Tuesday. I still can't believe their moving to Colorado. I'm so sad. What are Tiffany and I going to do without her? No matter where we live we'll always be best friends. I think Tiffany and I need to plan a trip to Colorado VERY soon for a visit! I'm getting excited for the holiday's but as they get closer and closer I keep thinking about my due date. I was due November 26th the day before Thanksgiving. I would be 36 weeks pregnant right now. So I'm having a hard time with that. Hopefully it will get easier with time. I want to do something nice on my due date for Carson but I haven't decided what yet. Well I just wanted to write an update on everything that's been going on with me lately. Sorry if it doesn't make sense. I tend to jump from subject to subject. Oh well. I'm going to get off here and go lay in bed and watch some TV. I'm starting to feel like I'm coming down with a cold. Yuck. Goodnight!

Monday, October 20, 2008

Our Genetics Appointment Today...

This morning we had an appointment with a Genetics Counselor. He confirmed that nothing Carson had was genetic. Not even his aorta coming off the right side of his heart. He said that there is no chance of having another baby with Gastroschisis or the heart condition. He agreed with our other doctor that it was just something sparatic that happened. He also said that since I've never had a history of blood clots that I probably wont get them the next time I'm pregnant but I'll still be put on blood thinners and see my high risk OB just to be safe. We were also told that he doesn't believe that I have a higher risk of a miscarriage. He said that it is just some doctor's theories that women with the blood clotting disorder are at a higher risk. My high risk OB does believe that I am at a higher risk for a miscarriage though. Either way the appointment today went great! :) We miss Carson so much and what happened with him was so tragic but it is such a relief to know that we wont have to go through that kind of pain again. He told us that we'd be able to have healthy babies and he let me know everything I should do, like take extra folic acid and a baby asprin. I'm already doing that so he said I'm on the right track. I can't wait to be pregnant again! Hopefully my friend Tiffany and I will both get pregnant VERY soon! Hopefully we'll be carrying those matching Juicy diaper bags to playdates and the mall before we know it! haha Just wanted to give everyone an update since I haven't been online much the past few days. My parents were visiting. Well I'm gonna go make dinner now...It's taco night tonight. YUMMY!!

Wednesday, October 15, 2008

Today is...

October 15th and it is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Day. Tonight at 7pm people around the world lit a candle for all the angel babies out there. Chris and I each lit a candle for Carson and told him that we love him and miss him. It isn't too late to light a candle in rememberance of all the little angels that were taken WAY too soon. Thank you to all our friends and family (and even people we don't know) who lit a candle.

Carson Christopher Cramer
August 13th 2008
Forever Loved and Never Forgotten!!!

Tuesday, October 14, 2008

Carson's autopsy results...

A little over an hour ago we got a call from Dr. Batig that Carson's autopsy results were in. Carson did in fact have a large case of Gastroschisis and his liver was also outside of his body. They also checked his heart and found that the aorta was coming off to the right side of the heart instead of the left. Other than that his heart was perfectly fine. If Carson would have been born alive he would not have needed any surgery on his heart and he would not have had any problems from it. Since they found out that I get blood clots when I'm pregnant they looked for clots. They didn't find any large clots in the placenta or umbilical cord. Dr. Batig did say that there could have been a series of small clots though. His cause of death is still unknown. They weren't able to pin point anything that caused it for sure. Our doctor believes that it was a combination of the sevre case of Gastroschisis and the blood clotting. Now for the good news! Nothing that Carson had was genetic and it was just something sparatic that happened, and it wont happen again. Also since they know about my blood clotting they'll be monitoring me very closely when I do get pregnant again. I'll have lots of appointments and ultrasounds and be put on blood thinners to prevent clots and reduce the risk of a misscarriage since I have a 25% chance of having one with every pregnancy. Hopefully being monitored so closely will help me to feel a little better and I wont stress out as much! Dr. Batig is setting up an appointment for us with a genetic counselor so they can discuss the autopsy results in more detail with us and hopefully we'll get even more information then. After getting off the phone with him I feel like I have a 100 questions now that I didn't think of until I hung up. I'll have to ask them when we go see the genetic counselor or when I go back to see Dr. Batig on the 29th. Well I just wanted to update everyone. Hopefully God will bless us with a healthy baby VERY soon!! WE LOVE YOU CARSON!!!!!!!!!!!!

Monday, October 13, 2008

2 months today....

I haven't written in a while because I was visiting my parents for the last 4 days and their computer wasn't working. Anyways...it has been 2 months today since Carson was born. For some weird reason it seems to have gone by quickly. It's hard to believe that if he was alive and here with us he'd be 2 months old already! I just keep going back to the whole it's not fair thing. I read somewhere that babies born at 24 weeks have a 90% chance of surviving. Carson was born at 25 weeks and if he would have been born alive he more than likely would be here with us today! I think that's the part that really gets me. I feel like he never even got a chance! Honestly I feel cheated. I never got to know Carson...his likes and dislikes. I never got to hear him call me Mommy or tell me that he loves me. I find myself wondering all the time what kind of things he would have been into and the person he would have been. It just hurts so damn much. I was starting to feel like things were getting a little easier for me each day but now I feel like I'm back tracking. It's so frusterating. I've been applying for jobs like crazy and I've had quite a few interviews, but NO ONE wants to hire me. I basically get told they're worried about me getting hired and then moving since Chris is in the Army. Which is REALLY annoying because it's like they think we move every 2-3 months. Who knows. I want a job really bad because I wanna make some money to add to our savings account but it seems like no one wants to trust me that we aren't moving! I'm really hoping that I get pregnant again soon though. I've been having some pregnancy symptoms but I don't want to get my hopes up. I'm sure they're all in my head. I'm trying not to stress about getting pregnant but it's kinda hard not to. My cycle is being weird so I'm not sure when I ovulate which makes it VERY hard to get pregnant. Sometimes I feel like everything falls apart at once and I just want to know why I don't deserve to be happy like so many other people. It's not like I'm trying to get people to pity me...because I'm not. And I know so many people have it worse than me, but sometimes it doesn't feel like it, as stupid as that sounds! Well I've blabbed on about enough random stuff for the night I'm going to head to bed......

Wednesday, October 8, 2008

Another interview....

So today I had yet another job interview. I'm glad I've gotten calls to come in for so many interviews but I haven't gotten a job yet :( Last week I had 4 interviews and this week I've had 1. Last week one of the interviews was a second interview for a medical office and I was sure I'd get the job. They kept telling me how perfect I was for the job and blah blah. I was so excited because the hours were perfect and the pay was great! My second interview was on Friday and I haven't heard back from them. They said they were going to check my references and let me know. If I don't hear back from them by today I'm going to send her an email because she told me that's the best way to contact her. I thought my interview today went really well too. I'd love to have this job! It's as a receptionist at a Family Practice doctor's office. There are 6 doctors there and the office seems to always stay busy! The hours are also perfect and the pay is also good. The manager said she had 2 more interviews to go today and then she would call me shortly after 4pm to let me know if I got the job or not. I'm really hoping I got it! They're hiring 2 receptionists but one has to speak Spanish and I honestly don't remember much from my 3 years of Spanish in high school. The whole job hunt has been kinda stressful. I'm really excited to find a job that I love and make some money so we can save towards buying a house but the search has been so frusterating! I feel like everytime I go into an interview and they see that I live on base they automatically think that I'll be moving in 2 months because my husband is in the Army. It's unfair! Yes we're military but we've been at this base for 3 years now and he's pretty sure he's reenlisting, and when he does he's going to reenlist to stay here since this is where my family is! I wish someone would just give me the benefit of the doubt! I haven't told any of the employers that I'm going to school to be a medical transcriptionist. I have told them I'm taking online medical terminology classes but I don't want them to not hire me because I don't want to be a receptionist for the rest of my life. This may sound kinda dorky but I actually really like being a receptionist lol. I enjoy it. But I'm hoping that I'll get pregnant again soon and I would actually like to be a stay at home mommy. That's why I chose to go to school to be a medical transcriptionist, so I can work from home. The interview I went into today was already making me feel a little guilty. I understand 100% that they want to hire someone to stay there long term, and that's what I'm looking for. A stable job. But when I'm done with my schooling in a year I would feel guilty quiting to go be a medical transcriptionist. lol If that makes any sense at all. The place I had the interview at this morning was really nice though because they understand if you have something that comes up family wise or have to go to a doctor's appointment and they have no problem with that. So it really would be a perfect job for me. Especially if I got pregnant again because I'll be having doctor's appointments every so often. Who knows. I really don't need to worry about quiting until I even have a job! haha. Maybe I'll end up getting a job that is perfect for me and I'll never want to leave it! Well this entry has pretty much just been nothing but a big ramble so I'm going to go do some homework and study a little. I've got a few hours before I hear anything back from the job. I'm going to be keeping my fingers crossed!

Monday, October 6, 2008

Losing weight...

I feel soooooo obese right now! I did really good losing weight after Carson was born and now it seems like I'm stuck at the same weight no matter how much I work out, and how healthy I eat! I'll admit that last week I only worked out twice but before that I was working out every single day...sometimes twice a day and nothing! I just want to scream! lol it's sooo annoying! I can fit back into my pre-pregnancy jeans but they are waaaayyy too tight haha. Nothing I could wear in public! I bought one new pair of jeans at the beginning of September and they fit perfect. Now they're way too big but I'm in between sizes so I have no choice but to wear them. I'm obviously gaining muscle but it's just frusterating to not see the numbers on the scale going down. I'm going to have to work out hard this week! Anyways I just wanted to right about my frustration with losing weight! I'm going to go watch Prison Break with Chris and then head to bed. It seems like I can never get enough sleep these days! I'm super excited about tomorrow though! I'm hanging out with TC2.....we're going to Costco! It's gonna be fun...as always! Goodnight!!

Sunday, October 5, 2008

It's going to be so hard to do...

I got an email last night from a friend of mine. She's pregnant with a little boy and due right around Christmas. Her and her husband are PCS'ing at the end of November so a friend of ours (who is also pregnant) is throwing a baby shower for her November 15th ....that's a week before I was due with Carson. She said she understands if it's too hard for me to go but I feel like I should go. We were pretty close through the deployment and she's a good friend. I'm sad that she's moving but it's not going to be easy to go that's for sure! Getting her email and the baby shower date made me feel sad all over again. Don't get me wrong I'm happy for her that she's pregnant but I'm still sad that I'm not still pregnant. It also made me realize how close I would be to my due date right now if I was still pregnant. Sometimes I just get so angry about it. It's just NOT FAIR! I honestly wonder sometimes what in the world did I do to have to go through this? Everyone tells me that God wouldn't give me something I couldn't handle but sometimes I seriously wonder if I can handle all this pain. I pretend to be strong around others but in reality I'm not that strong at all. I really hope that we're able to get pregnant again soon and that we have a un-eventful pregnancy and that I get to take home a healthy screaming alive baby at the end. Hopefully everyone's right and God does have something big in store for Chris and I, because I know I couldn't handle the pain of having to lose a child again.

Friday, October 3, 2008

Carson



I got the idea to start a blog from one of my best friends Tiffany. She got the other Christy to do it so I thought I'd try it too. My life has been pretty rough lately so I'm hoping writing out my feelings will help. Ever since I was little, I always wanted to be a Mommy when I grew up. So Chris and I were VERY excited when we found out we were pregnant. I felt like I waited so long for it and I couldn't believe it was really happening. It was like it was too good to be true. That's why losing Carson has been so hard on me. It's like I knew deep down it was going to happen and I couldn't do anything to stop it. The entire week before we went in for our last ultrasound appointment I kept telling Chris I just knew they wouldn't be able to find his heart beat. He kept telling me that I was just worrying and they would be able to find it and everything would be okay. So when we went in for out last ultrasound appointment and the tech told us " I'm not supposed to tell you this but I can't find a heart beat. I need to go get the doctor" I automatically just started bawling because I knew I had been right all along. It seems like every where I go now there's a million pregnant women. I swear everyone and their dog is pregnant! It's just not fair! I have a few friends that are expecting right now and it's not that I'm not happy for them but part of me just wants to know why they get to experience being a Mommy and I don't. I'm so scared that with this blood clotting I wont ever be able to have a healthy baby born ALIVE. I want to know what it's like to hold a screaming crying baby and I really hope I get the chance to sometime soon! These past 2 months have been really hard on me and I honestly don't think I could have gotten through it without my 2 best friends! I am seriously so lucky to have Christy and Tiffany! They've been there for me when I've needed them the most and that's when you really find out who your true friends are. I know everything I've just written doesn't really make sense right now and I bounce around to a 100 different topics but it feels good to just type out what I'm feeling right now. Oh well it's my first time doing this whole blog thing...what can I say...