14 weeks!!!

Today I am 14 weeks! I am at the start of my 2nd trimester and the begining of my 4th month! Wow! I can't believe how fast it's gone by so far! I hope the rest of my pregnancy goes by this fast haha. My all day "morning" sickness seems to be going away and I haven't had as many headaches. I have had a million cravings though! They are so random! Last week I was driving down I-5 when all the sudden I had to have blueberries! haha. I went grocery shopping today because we're having Travis and Monica over to watch the game Sunday and I got lots of good stuff to make. It's not good to go grocery shopping when you have cravings haha. Chris is on his way home from Yakima right now. He just had to go on a day trip and he should be back home hopefully in about an hour. I'm glad he wont be gone for the night! I'm still waiting to hear back from the ADC Clinic to find out when my ultrasound is! I think I'll call them on Monday. Hope everyone has a great weekend! :)

An update!!

Sorry I haven't written in a while! I was out of town for almost a week visiting my brother for his birthday! It was also my cousin Emily's birthday so we had a big family dinner. It was nice to see everyone and catch up! I got to see my nephews who I haven't seen in almost 3 years (long story lol) and spend some much needed time with my little cousin Brooke. I can't believe how big she's getting. She's 6 and acts like she's 14 haha. She's sooooo excited about the baby coming. She can't wait! She keeps telling me she's going to be a big sister even though I tell her she's going to be a big cousin! I took care of her 24/7 for a year while we lived together and we've always been really close so she feels like this baby is going to be her sibling haha. Crazy kid!

I've been feeling a little better but the past few days I have felt soooo sick! I've had the worst headaches that last for hours and I feel like I'm going to puke all day long. It hasn't been fun lol. I'm hoping my morning sickness goes away very soon because with Carson it stopped at like 14 weeks. I just woke up one day and felt great! I can't wait for that day to come again haha. My friend Ellen sent us a BEAUTIFUL blanket for Carson that she made! It is sooo gorgeous! I'll have to take a picture of it and post it on here. She's so sweet! On the back she put "Carson 8-13-08". I love love love the blanket! We really appreciate it! Well I better get off here. I need to run to the store. We're having our friends Monica and Travis over for a movie night so I'm going to go pick up some snacks! Hope everyone had a great weekend! :)

Our appointment today...

Went GREAT!! Dr. Batig (the best doctor EVER) said that everything looks perfect. I was a little nervous at frist because when he started the ultrasound he got really quiet and didn't say anything so I started thinking the worst of course but then he said "I'm just trying to get a good picture". I didn't relax all the way until he showed us the heart beat and then we got to listen to it! He said it sounds great! I was so happy that everything was going okay! I go back for my next appointment Feb. 19th and hopefully I'll have my ultrasound the last week of Feb around the 27th. I should find out the exact date by next week hopefully. I can't wait to go in for it! Dr. Batig gave us 3 pictures and the baby is already so much bigger than it was last time! I can't wait to see the difference on our next one! He said the baby was being stubborn lol but then all the sudden it started moving around and being really active. I was also happy that I'll be seeing Dr. Batig at my next appointment. Usually with the military you pretty much see different doctors each time. They're all on your team but you hardly ever get to see the same one at each appointment. Dr. Batig said I'll keep seeing him. I'm really happy about that because he knows our history with Carson because he was the one who has been there for us. He's a really caring doctor and doesn't try to rush you through your appointments and always asks if I have any questions. I'm soooo glad he's our doctor! As of today I'm 11 weeks and 6 days and so far I've gained almost 1 pound lol. He said he'd like me to gain 30 lbs this pregnancy and said I'll gain the last 15 of it more towards the end. I'm going to keep up my exercise so I look pregnant and not like a whale lol. Well I just wanted to give everyone an update and I'm going to go eat some crackers lol I'm starving!

Carson's 5 month angel-versary

Yesterday was 5 months since Carson was born! It seems like it's gone by so fast but at the same time it seems like it was forever ago. We miss him soooo much! Sometimes I still can't believe he's gone. We have LOTS of pictures of him all over the house which is really comforting. Whenever I miss him I just go look at his pictures or go through his memory box. We have his little hat he wore in the hospital and his hospital brace lets and everything. I'm so thankful the hospital gave us the memory box because it's REALLY nice to have!

The last couple days I had actually been feeling pretty good. I worked out 30 minutes on the eliptical each day and had a lot of energy afterwards. Today I woke up and threw up twice. I've felt like crap all day. Nothing sounds good to me so I've eaten a lot of Otter Pops lol. I'm really craving some blueberries since I saw them on a commercial. lol I LOVE fruit! Right now I have a really bad headache that I've had for about an hour now and I'm just exhausted. Hopefully I'll be able to get a good nights sleep tonight since the neighbors stupid dog was barking and woke me up at 6 this morning!! Well I just wanted to write a quick update. I'm going to lay down and maybe try to take a short nap to see if that will help my headache to go away! Tomorrow's my doctor's appointment so I'm sure I'll write an update afterwards! :)

Pregnancy Journals

Early this morning we dropped Eric off at the airport then came home to sleep some more before getting up and getting ready for church. Today just Chris and I went because poor Tiffany wasn't feeling good. Hopefully she's not starting to get morning sickness! It's not fun at all and I wouldn't wish it upon anyone lol. After church we stopped at Barnes and Noble to look for a pregnancy journal. Tiffany had showed me hers at dinner the other night and I really liked it. There's a lot of fill in the blanks which the other ones didn't have. They only had one left so I snatched it up! I'm soooo glad I got it! When we got home I started writing in it and it took me over an hour! I like how it's also an organizer! I know it's early but I already started marking off the things we have for the baby. I just marked off the big items not the clothing ones. I can't wait to find out what we're having and start putting the nursery together!! It's so exciting! Today I'm 11 weeks and 2 days. My doctor's appointment is this Thursday and I'm excited but nervous at the same time. We'll hopefully get to hear the heart beat at this appointment and we're also having an ultrasound which will be fun and a not so fun pap haha. I just worry that they wont be able to find the heart beat like they did with Carson. I try not to worry about it but it's hard not to. I just have to keep reminding myself that each pregnancy is different and we don't have any reason to believe that this one wont go smoothly. I just can't wait to bring our healthy baby home from the hospital with us! :) So far the pregnancy seems to already be going by kind of fast! I'm going to call the ADC clinic this Friday to try and make an appointment for my level 2 ultrasound where we'll find out the sex! The nurse told me to call early at 12 or 13 weeks instead of 14 to 15 since I'm having my ultrasound earlier. Hopefully the lady wont argue with me and will just make me an appointment and not tell me to call back! Well I'm gonna go let the dogs outside. Hopefully everyone had a GREAT weekend!!

Rain, Rain Go AWAY!!!!

I HATE all this rain! Today it actually didn't rain much and this afternoon it was sunny and nice. But the past few days have been horrible and there's a lot of flooding going on! There's a 20 mile stretch of I-5 that's been closed because it's flooded! I've been really worried about my parents because they had 4 feet of snow and now that it's melting and the creeks are flooding there's going to be some baddddd floods up there! So far everythings okay with them. They lost power for a while yesterday and two of their sheds have flooded but my dad said it isn't too bad. He's got flood insurance so they're good.

Yesterday Chris' best friend Eric flew in from Ohio. What a time for him to come visit lol. He'll think that it's true about the rain in Washington haha. Tomorrow it's not supposed to rain so we're heading to Seattle to show him around. We'll take him to Pike's Place Market and the Space Needle. He doesn't even know what the Space Needle is! Other than that we'll probably just walk around then head home early enough to beat the Friday traffic! Tomorrow night we're going to Famous Dave's for dinner and John and Tiffany are going to come too! I'm excited to see them! I'm glad I wont be the only girl...or the only preggo! haha I've been actually feeling pretty good. I haven't really been sick the last couple days but I still have a big appetite. Right now my craving is ice cream lol. I've always liked ice cream but I hardly ever eat it...even when I was a kid. I never craved it with my last pregnancy so this is a new thing for me lol. I'll be 11 weeks tomorrow and I'm excited for my appointment next week on the 15th! I get another ultrasound and we'll hopefully be able to hear the baby's heart beat this time. They were able to pick up Carson's when he was just barley 11 weeks and I'll be 11 weeks and 6 days. With Carson they found it right away too. Like as soon as they put the thingy on my stomach lol. They were surprised because they said at that young it usually takes them a while to find it. His heart beat was always easy to find though :) He was just difficult on ultrasounds and liked to hide from the techs haha. Well I better get off here. I think I'm actually going to go have some ice cream haha. Have a great night!!

Relaxing weekend

Today Chris and I went to church with John and Tiffany. I'm soooo glad we went! Tiffany and I have been wanting to go but first there was the snow stopping us, then Chris and I were out of town visiting family for the holidays. I'm hoping that we continue going every week. Chris already told me that he would. I feel like since God has blessed us with this pregnancy that I really need to keep going to church so I can keep my faith in him strong. It will really help to ease my mind throughout this pregnancy.

This weekend has been really relaxing. Yesterday I finished up some homework and went to have dinner with Erin and hang out. It was a lot of fun and hopefully we'll get to hang out again soon! We went to Borders before dinner and I got a new book called Belly Laughs by Jenny McCarthy and it's soooo good! I started reading it last night and it's hilarious! She tells you the truth about pregnancy and everything is soooo true lol. Today I'll probably start on my homework for next week and read some more of my new book. Tomorrow I want to get all of our Christmas decorations put away and Tuesday I'll clean the house since Eric flys in on Wednesday. Eric is Chris' best friend from back home (Ohio) and we're excited that he's coming out! We're trying to think of some fun things to do while he's here. We'll obviously take him around Seattle and hopefully up to Mt. Rainier but we'll see. He's only here for 5 days so who knows what the guys will want to do. Well I better get off here and start some homework. I'm going to try to get next weeks homework all done by Tuesday night so I wont have to worry about it while Eric's here. Hopefully everyone had a great weekend!!

I miss Carson!!!

I was trying to fall asleep but I just couldn't. So I decided to get online and write an entry since I hadn't done one yet today. I miss Carson soooooo much! I just wish I could hold him one last time! I guess the thing that's bothering me the most is that in some way I feel like he never really had a chance at life. I feel like I failed Carson as his mother. It was my job to keep him safe while he was in my tummy and I feel like I didn't do that. If he would have just been born alive I feel like he would have at least been given a chance at life! He would have had the best doctor's at Seattle Childrens and maybe they would have been able to save him... just maybe! Thinking about everything that happened with Carson has really got me worrying about this little bean again. I just wish we could fast forward at least a month and not only find out what we're having but have our level II ultrasound just so I can know that everything's okay and that the baby is healthy. I know we're never 100% out of the woods until that baby is born alive and screaming in my arms but I feel like I will at least be able to breathe easier then. Hopefully our ultrasound on the 15th will help me to relax. I just hope everything still looks great with the baby and that it stays healthy. I honestly don't think I'm strong enough to go through another loss. I truly believe it would break me. The pain of losing a child is something no one should ever have to go through and my heart breaks for the family's that have had to go through multiple losses. I can't imagine! Tiffany and I are going to church on Sunday. Hopefully that will help me to feel better and find some peace! I feel like going to church is the least I could do since I spend everyday praying that God will give us a healthy baby to bring home from the hospital. I have faith in God and trust him but I just pray that everything works out this time. Well that's probably enough blabbing for tonight lol. I'm going to try once again to get some sleep. I have a lot of homework to finish up tomorrow since I've been putting it off all week. I just hope Carson knows how much his mommy and daddy love him and miss him. I truly love him with all my heart and wish he could be here with us.

Happy New Year!!!

I hope everyone had a fun and safe New Years Eve! We went to dinner with John and Tiffany to celebrate Tiffany's birthday. We ate at the Cheesecake Factory and it was amazing as usual! lol I ate waaaayyyy too much though. I was seriously so full, so by the time we got home I fell asleep by 10:45 haha. Chris fell asleep as soon as we got home so neither of us made it until midnight. How sad. I feel like we're old people! Last night I had a dream that I went to my next doctor's appointment and they were doing the ultrasound and I got to see the baby. I was crying because I had eaten so much at the Cheesecake Factory that my baby now weighed 5 lbs. and 1 oz. and I still have 6 months to go! lol It was such a weird dream. I really hope the baby ends up weighing closer to what I did when I was born. I was 7 lbs. 12 oz. and Chris was 10 lbs. 9 oz! I've really had some crazy dreams since I've been pregnant. I did when I was pregnant with Carson too. And sometimes I have like 3 of them a night! It's pretty entertaining! So far in one of my dreams the baby has been a boy. I just can't wait to find out what we're having! Tiffany and I will have to go shopping!!!!!! Well I better get off here and finish my homework. Hopefully everyone has had a great start to 2009!