HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!! I hope everyone had a fun Halloween. Chris and I didn't do much. We just stayed home and passed out candy. We only had like 7 trick or treaters haha. We still have lots of candy (which isn't good...I think I'm going th throw it away so I don't eat it).
Tomorrow we're going to dinner with our good friends who are PCS'ing at the end of November. It's going ot be really hard to go because my friend is pregnant. She's due only a month after I was. To be honest I'm jealous. I'm more than jealous. I wish soooo badly that I was still pregnant but I'm not. Today I was talking with Tiffany and she brought up some good points. I think being around my friend will help me to move on a little bit. Of course I'm still hurting but I think by seeing her it will hel me to heal. I'm excited about trying again but it's still going to be hard for me to see her. Her baby shower is coming up in November and I've decided not to go. It's a week before I was due so it will just be too hard to go. Especially since she's also having a boy. I'm happy for her, don't get me wrong but the month of November in general will be hard for me....so I really don't feel like putting myself through more difficult things than I need to and a baby shower would be beyond difficult.
This upcoming week I'll be babysitting Chris' SGT's son. His name's Brent and he's 10 months old. Today I met with her so I could meet Brent before I started watching him for the week. He is such a happy baby! Sooooo cute too. I'm excited about watching him. Tiffany is going to come hang out with me and the baby which will be a lot of fun. :) Although I'm sure it's going to make me and Tiffany want baby's even more (if that's even possible). I think we'll have fun with him!! On November 4th I get to keep him over night because his mom has to work a 24 hour shift (gotta love the Army!). I'm glad I'll have a baby around. I think it will keep me thinking positive. I've decided to try not to stress out too much about getting pregnant. The problem is though that it's easier said than done so we'll see how that goes! It's weird I have no problem being around Brent and he's a baby. I had no problem being around Christy's kids and their 1 and 2 but I have a REALLY hard time being around pregnant people. There's a girl I'm kinda friends with not really and she asked me to babysit her newborn daughter and I couldn't do it. It's just strange.. I'm not sure why I'm okay being around some babies/kids and not others. Maybe it's because Brent and Orion and Danika are older...they are newborns. I dunno.
Well I'm going to get off of here. Chris and I just got done watching the Heartbreak Kid (FUNNY movie), and I've rambeled on long enough. Have a great weekend!!!
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Maybe it's hard for you to see preg bellies/infants because that's the stage you were at...like if Carson was 2 years old when he passed away, it'd be more difficult to be around toddlers. Does that make sense? Your brain sees the babies/bellies and associates them with Carson...even though children are children. I hope this makes some sense and I'm not just totally talking outta my butt!! haha
I'm glad you let me know about your blog. I often wonder/worry about your psyche and everything going on with you two. Writing is an awesome why to get the sad out :) Thanks for letting me read it! :)
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